I remember seeing some pasty pale vegan(me=carnivorous maximus) prophets of doom on the idiot box predicting global warming was turning Spain into a desert just last year. Now I am as ready as the next one to accept climate change as fact (I can still remember all those years ago watching my Mum having to dig the snow away from the shed doors to get her old jalopy out every winter…you’d of thought at 25 I’d have give her a hand…*) but straight after a suit tried to sell me an energy saving ever lasting lightbulb for about £30. I think it’s a bit like religion...there's something in it…nobody really knows the truth...and someones getting paid. The previous rainfall record for a southern Spanish winter, December Jan Feb is somewhere in the 300mm range…this “spring?” as this page goes to press in early March it has already exceeded the 1200mm mark but at last shows signs it’s breaking…the landscape in Andalucia I have made home for the past months is as lush, green and unlike a desert as it has been in anybodys lifetime, and in the bright afternoon sun, resembles at first glance a particularly hilly Britian in the summer…on closer inspection however much of the terrain has changed permanently and biblicly in some places, with new spings and streams gouging huge erosion gulleys down hillsides and fields, forming new lakes in the lowlands and causing road devouring mudslides. The weather reports and forecasts showed torrential rain every week as far away as southern Morrocco…Even your barnacled seacaptain, mad as he was to fly all winter, thought discretion was the better part of valor, gave the order to abandon ship, (what I actually said was “fuck this…”) and went to England to escape the rain. Ha! England from Spain to escape the rain! That’s should seem as likely as travelling to a parallel universe where grass is blue, the sky is green and black people rule the world. Now I know I live in the twilight zone.
(*just joking…rip Mum)
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